March of Absence

My Father is the Himalayas and my Mother is the Ganga.

This is quite a special month for me.

I am entering a new decade. I heard this decade is pretty fun, and there's no better way for me to welcome my new year around the sun, than to disconnect, in the most disciplined way, and connect within.

I am at fault for being someone that enjoys living in the dreamy fantasies of the mind, yet, who says these dreams are unattainable?

I tell myself, if not now, then when? The investment in yourself becomes the investment in who you want to become.

I have taught over 10 years, and I have recently become challenged with a question we are all bound to ask ourselves at any point in life (usually, more than once);

"what's next?".

A few months ago I was asked: where did you train to be a yoga teacher? I responded the way I always do- In Charlotte, NC, but the studio is no longer what it once was, and it is now called something else.

Their response flooded my body with goosebumps: "You teach just like the teachers in India".

This was a profound comment for me.

To be called of such a matter was a snack for my hungry question, a meal I had been pondering eating..

So I decided to sit down, contemplate on the question's meal, and satisfy my craving by peeking into the kitchen where the magic is in the recipes, before sitting at the table and satisfying my hunger.

I welcome the 30's with hopes of a mature, sophisticated, abundant, and hard-working decade.

But I also ask for gentleness, kindness, love, and an undisturbed essence to my being.

Who I am now, may not be who I will be tomorrow, yet shedding parts of myself that do not align with my essence and disciplining myself to whom I desire to be, is an artful skill.

Sutra 1.13 Tatra sthitau yatno'bhyāsfi — Sutra 1.13 *Tatra sthitau yatno'bhyāsfi*

Practice (abhyasa) means choosing, applying the effort, and doing those actions that bring a stable and tranquil state (sthitau).

Unification and effort with mind, body, and heart.

Within just 30 years, the dynamics of the Self has to go through phases of cleansing-

and this is not the first, nor the last time.

Shedding may involve giving up late night eats, respectful goodbyes with old friends, a change in character or wardrobe, bittersweet boundaries for self-improvement, and an open heart with no expectations on the path to desires.

This is the truth about turning pages in the book of everyday life, sounds redundant, but there truly is no promise of tomorrow.

I am noone special; I am just a soul in this human vessel, knowing that regardless of what I endure in this lifetime, I will one day also turn to dust and the only trace of me will be according to what I left behind; whether it is a photo, a mirror, or a special necklace, it will have an untold story, a mystery to the new beholder, or a space in a trashcan. This known truth of impermanence sets the tone to finding Joy.

I cannot say I for sure know that I will reach all of my desires or goals that I itch for; nor that life will be easy as I take on the challenges;

All I know is that my journey has so far led up to this, and I must give myself some credit (something I rarely do), and also hug and embrace loved ones & essential people that helped and supported me along the way, even if some of those people are no longer in existence or within my close-circle.

Yogic Secrets of the Dark Goddess, Shambhavi L. Chopra — Yogic Secrets of the Dark Goddess, *Shambhavi L. Chopra*

As my current yoga teacher Teju says, "philosophy is easy, practical is hard"

Ditto. My words are only reminders - I will need to come back to this over and over and over again. This is why repetition is a wise tool for this art of living, in order to "witness the presence of every moment" and the thoughts that come along with it.

I am loving awareness. I am loving awareness. I am loving awareness.

These motorcycles are annoyingly loud.

I am loving awareness. I am loving awareness. I am loving awareness.

I ignored something because I didn't have the energy to get involved.

I am loving awareness. I am loving awareness. I am loving awareness.

There is a clown in office.

I am loving awareness. I am loving awareness. I am loving awareness.

Did this person really just say that to me??